Her Mistress's Voice - Will it fly?

So "they" say that 90% of passing is from the neck up. Face, hair, makeup (if you use it). I say that is kind of true, in so much as you ever get close enough to somebody for them to even see your face. (I will touch on body parts in another post.) But this next bit is the kicker. You can be a total looker, stunning, stop traffic beauty. And you open your mouth, and out comes a baritone. The illusion is crushed. And unfortunately for a transwoman illusion is the wrong word. Because odds are you really are female (inside) and what some call an illusion, is just you trying to live your life.

I am always amused by transwomen who seem to think that by just declaring themselves female, or announcing their name they will get proper pronoun use from others. Especially on the phone, if you sound like a guy, people are wired to say "sir". Get over it. Even if you tell them, otherwise. If you want a ma'am, then you have to sound like one, just like you need to look like one to get it in person.

And so that voice thing is not really a convenience item. It is really as every bit as important, probably more so, than your hair. And I have covered how important that is already. So why do we end up with the looker with the lousy voice. I think I know what the problem is. Statics and Dynamics. Yeah, you are saying what has that crazy geek bitch come up with now. It is ok, I am not offended by you calling me a "geek". (you thought I was going for something else didn't you). Yeah, Statics and Dynamics.

This was a course I took in college. Kind of the the last revenge applied by the mechanical engineers onto the electrical and computer engineers. Statics was the study of structures and fixed mechanical systems. The classic statics stuff is bridges. You build it, put a load on it, see if it holds. We have all seen those contests where they destroy bridges made of Popsicle sticks and white glue. That is statics.

Dynamics, well that is stuff that is moving. Car wheels, generators, motors, merry go rounds, bowling balls, meteors, they are all dynamic. You get the idea. You probably also get that Statics is like way easier than dynamics. Why, well, stuff is moving, and has or requires energy.

Here lets make it easy, last time your heard of a bridge falling down because it ran out of fuel? Hmmm, never. Ok, how about a helicopter. Ahh, they fall out of the sky all the time don't they. Sometimes it is fuel, sometimes something breaks, whatever. Heck a helicopter crash might not even make the national news it is so common. A bridge collapse, that gets noticed, ask folks in Minnesota, they will tell you.

Ok Sharon, that is nice, what the hell does it have to do with having a decent female voice. Well, everything. Lets make that helicopter be human powered, oh, with pedals ok? We will get Lance Armstrong (contrary to some, not the first man on the moon) to pedal for us. Rumor is he is good at that. So off goes Lance into the wild blue yonder. After a bit, he gets tired and helicopter goes boom boom. Not sure if Lance made it. But the helicopter did not. Bummer. So in order to sustain flight, you have to keep putting energy into to it. Heck, you need energy, just to hover. Let alone move around.

So that is voice.

"Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do." Ok you put your makeup on, imagine if you had to run up and down stairs to keep it good looking. How often you gonna wear makeup? Same goes for most of what you have done to feminize yourself. Yes there was some effort to get it set up (like the bridge). But once it is up, all she needs is a little spackle, paint and welds repaired now and then to look good, ok sure it is more than that but you get the idea. But that voice, it is continuous work. It requires you to practice, a lot, train, etc. And just to get it to the right place to start (off the ground), let alone to stay there (hover), you have to do a lot of pedaling. And some girls, cannot, or are unwilling do that. And even when you do do it, you might have to rest now and again so you don't crash. And yeah, it gets easier the more you do it, hmm wow just like everything else that you ever learned that was hard to do. So can you do it? Yes! How do I know, I have seen it, heard it, been working it myself. Does it happen overnight, no...

It might be easy if getting to a female voice required the same amount of work for everybody, but it does not. Why? Oh gee, why aren't you winning the gold medal in the pole vault. Why if you start training right now, you might be good enough for the 2016 Olympics. Or, maybe not, especially if you are 50 years old right now. Probably not going to happen. So that said what's a girl to do? Well you have to want it. And even though you might not go to the Olympics, if being able to do a pole vault is key to your self identity, then I bet you figure out how to do one, even if it is only 6ft high.

Now I have been working on my own voice for about 4 months. I have to say I am getting to the point where en femme (or not), it is serviceable (not great, but not bad either). I do not sound like a guy when I talk. Do I sound like a woman? Well did I mention I do not sound like a guy (It will get better). When I started I thought, no way I will ever get there. And reality is I am probably not going to sound like Julia or any other movie star's voice. Neither will I look like her, so that is a feature, deal with it. But can I settle for getting a ma'am on the phone? Yeah I can. So the answer is, you might not be able to get there totally, but unless you start pedaling, at least a little bit, you will never get off the ground.