Next!

So I guess I need to apologize for anybody that actually reads this stuff. My last post was in November. I should really come clean on this, I wrote others, I just did not post them. Yeah, someday they will be worth a bunch. You know, like a missing Picasso or DaVinci or something.

Maybe someday I will finish my missing works and publish them. Or perhaps they were weak efforts on my part and this is why they languish. I know in one case they clearly are likely to offend somebody. And that, in part, was why I did not publish that one.

So, reminiscent of the Seinfeld show, this is a post about nothing. But I hope you still find it remotely interesting. Tall order I know.

So let's talk about life for a moment. Mine in particular. Yes, I know big surprise here.

For those keeping track, all of my legal crap is still in play, yeah it will not go away and that giant sucking sound you hear gurgling in the background is that of money coming out of my purse. You know I can think of several ways to spend money and produce absolutely nothing. You can drink, smoke, or whatever, it away. At the end of that you got nothing to show for it. You can gamble. All forms fit here, blackjack, craps, fantasy football, the stock market, pick one. You could stand in your back yard and set fire to it; I like fire myself. Or if none of that suits your fancy you can give it to the legal system.

Please no cards and letters from the barristers. I like my lawyers, I really do. Its just that I do not like paying them. And it always seems that their powers of estimation are off. Like by 100%. So the thing that should cost $5K is $10K and so on. And at last count, considering that "she" (the ex) has now decided to start pestering my company, I now have four lawyers that are being paid as a result of this now. And those are just mine, she has two too. Sheesh.

So that said, I have put in a shitload of money into lawyers, and we have no actual progress other than, oh you need to do this, or that, and spend more money on that... I have like 10 days of legal shit to tend to in Jan. Depositions, Mediation, etc. etc. So much for that job that pays for all of it. It is like getting hit twice, you need to pay, and no you cannot work to make money to pay for it. If I can survive January I might just make it.

Um, Sharon, I read your blog because of the Trans stuff you know, that is what I came for, this lawyer shit, please stop talking about it, it is boring, and you are whiny. Agreed...

So back to another subject, yes me. Well it is my blog afterall.

I always love that everybody expects that you have a timeline, or detailed plan. Like building a bridge or something. Well we need to have forms and re-bar set by the 17th so we can pour concrete on the 19th and that will set until the 23rd. Um, sorry, there is no Microsoft Project Gantt chart for this transition stuff. I know girls that do have one, timeline that is. I know I have commented on this before, mine is the vague idea of a timeline. Too many variables at the moment. There is no way to have that NASA precision.

But all that aside let me tell you where I am at today. And that is a far cry from where I was a year ago. First off I am "me" about 50% of the time. If I can manage it I become myself Friday morning and maintain that until Sunday night. I sometimes have to toggle a bit to trade kids with my soon to be former spouse. I have yet to formally present my trueself to her. But I figure that day is not far off. Aside from that schedule I usually end up with one more day or night during the week that I can get "me" time... Thus I am "halftime". Please no photos of cheerleaders or bands. However if you do send me a cheerleader outfit it would actually be accepted, please make sure you include the Pom Poms.

Chemistry is a godsend. Except the itchy, sensitive boob thing. Well ok, they are bigger now, and that is a good thing. I asked a friend when will they stop hurting, her response was, welcome to womanhood. So my guess is, that will be a feature from here out. I like my new skin. I like other things too but in order to keep this "G", er "PG-13" rated I will not go into that stuff. Let's just say one thing has stopped working and another has started. You can connect the dots.

The hair thing! Woo Hoo on two fronts, first the bit on my face, essentially gone. I go for electro periodically but we are mostly getting those grey and clear stragglers, and that is about all that shows up now. I literally do not shave anymore. Yay! The second part is that I have put that tribble I have been wearing on my head for a year in the drawer. I know it could be longer, but I am on my own hair now. And that is a huge relief. On the other hand, I am scared shitless as I need to learn all of the girl hair regimen now. I am getting there, the pix on the right should show some of that.

As to being ready to make the "jump"? Well it is going to happen sometime in 2010. Um, Sharon, what jump is that? Why the one to full time hon, full time. You know 24/7/365. That one. Yeah I am ready, I like me, I like being me, I want to be me all the time. So Sharon, what is your friggin issue then? Well you know it is complicated right. But it comes down to two issues remaining. One is my business world, and the other my public service/charity world. You see as of 1 Jan 10 (aka yesterday) I became a board member on a charitable organization that I support. So coming out there will be fun.

As to business. Well it is actually good, and I almost have all of my 2010 contracts in place. Usually this is done by now but due to footdragging by my customers it is not quite there yet. But once that is done, the time will come to tell all. And so that leads to what is "next".

And so for me I think that will be FFS. Yeah, time to make my mug match my head. So sometime this year, 2010, (July maybe, dunno yet) I will go see one of those surgical magicians. If you want to know who send me a note. I will tell, but I will not advertise for him/her here.

And so my hurdles are getting smaller, and my reasons for not moving ahead are getting weak. So I am getting close to this magic point. The one my friend told me about as I started this. She said, "When do you make a change?"

"When you can't stand it anymore."

I am just about there...